When i was growing up i never thought i would be a parent one day. I always told my self i wouldn't become a mother and it wasn't because i didn't like children but because i was worried about the growing belly and the heartbreak if something bad was to happen. The biggest fear of them all were if i couldn't handle giving birth and died during delivery. What a drag that is right? But that's what comes with anxiety and panic.
As i met Matthew in high school and we started dating junior year, things changed for the both of us. We became ant-social and only hung out with each other, which all of you know that happens when your young. But my friendships did come to a halt and we weren't as close as we used to be. They were mad at me but then when they got boyfriends they did the same thing. Any-who back to our love story..
After we dated all through out high school with a couple break ups in between. We made it to prom and graduation together<3 how exciting right?
Then after all that i signed up for college after half a year and he tried but didn't really want to go. I have been in school now for 3 or so years and am ready to graduate.
But it was the summer of 2014 that i went to visit my dads side of the family with Matt and while we were gone he noticed somethings that i didn't. I was eating a lot more and gaining some weight, i was nauseous, and moody. I just thought i had something wrong like diabetes or some illness like that because the only thing i noticed was that i was SUPER tired.
So when we got back the first thing i did was bought 2 pregnancy test and took them. Expecting negatives i looked down at that test like no big deal. But then it revealed 2 lines and my heart sunk, my eyes watered. I swear at that moment in time i probably had my first mini heart attack and i let out a scream followed by sobs. Matthew asked "why are you crying?"
WHY AM I CRYING???!!!!
Well lets see I'm PREGNANT and i have not graduated college nor have a good job like i would have wanted if i had planned to have children. So i set there freaking out worried about how i was going to tell my mom let alone Matt's family. As we were leaving to tell the news, here comes my mother. I get out of the car tears building up and i remember telling her please don't be mad at me. Then out came those wonderful words "I'M PREGNANT"
Surprisingly she took it very well and i was shocked. I mean really shocked, my mom never took things like that easily. But after talking for a while we needed to go tell Matt's family. Pulling up to that house and walking inside to find nobody upstairs we headed down where his mom, sister, and niece awaited. They could tell something was up, i mean i looked a mess. Out poured the words to them too, and they were happy. His sister was really happy she was going to be a aunt. But that meant one more grandchild for them added to the mix.
You know how the rest goes we went to appointment after appointment and we got to hear the heartbeat which was the most wonderful thing and actually made me realize there was a little human inside and i was his or hers provider and he or she needed me.
- Marshall's Mommy
